Gender-based violence: a responsibility above all for men

If we continue to avoid calling violence by its real name and use euphemisms like “family dispute” or “fit of jealousy,” and keep downplaying the responsibility of the violent man; if we keep describing the perpetrator as “a seemingly respectable person”; if we continue to focus on the victim’s background, on what she was wearing or similar details—if we continue to do all this, we will never stop talking about gender-based violence.

Change must begin also—and above all—with men, who must become active participants in the project of cultural transformation. We must start with education about relationships and emotional awareness, which is even more urgent than speaking about violence. We must rediscover the sense of responsibility that each and every one of us carries: as a parent, colleague, friend, relative, acquaintance or simply as a human being.

Because being able to read a small gesture, learning to recognize the signs of distress or violence in those around us, can save lives. Having the courage to intervene, not looking the other way or remaining indifferent, and refusing to offer complicit smiles that minimize, approve of, or mock abusive behavior—this too can save lives.

Because we must think not only of physical violence, but also of psychological violence: silent, subtle, but devastating. The kind that builds walls, isolates, destroys. Psychological violence is an assault on dignity, self-esteem, and mental health. It is an exercise of power aimed at annihilating someone’s identity and will.

Workplaces, too, can become foundational parts of this change: in recruitment practices, in career management, in what it means to be a manager, a colleague, and an active participant in prevention, support, solidarity, and reporting.

And then there is the home and the private sphere, where caregiving still tends, even today, to have only one gender: the female one. Too often, society continues to expect women to take care of the house, the children, the elderly parents. Men, instead, are still not perceived as truly co-responsible for family care. And so unpaid care work remains invisible, undervalued, and taken for granted.

A meaningful shift must begin with men: recognizing them as agents of change and as a fundamental part of all gender issues. Women, over time, have repeatedly shown their ability to respond, to fight battles, to claim rights and create opportunities that have all too often been denied—precisely by men. This is where we must start again, initiating a new, honest, and profound conversation rooted in the recognition of responsibility and the genuine willingness to change.